Archive for October, 2006

Had to see faces that i avoided since marriage

Wednesday, October 25th, 2006

Well, Deepavali, it was very fine i guess….. Anyway, we were invited to our fren’s place on Sunday evening for Deepavali dinner…. We knew that unwanted faces will be coming to the dinner so we came early and wanted to leave early too. But fate has it that we had to see those idiots faces…. And fate has it that they had to see for themselves that we are totally happy in our life too!!!! Ha ha…. Damn it. Wat a time la…. Shit. Anyway, we took our shit and left immediately. His frens asked us to stay but my hubby told them that he didn’t want to see their fuck faces….. Now, i m so glad that my hubby shares my unhappiness with me too and not forgive them for ruining our wedding day. Man, thinking about till today makes my blood boil…. Yeah, u must be thinking why make them happy by getting upset over them…. Thats not the issue here…. Its supposed to be my Big unforgettable memorable day….. But some idiots really came to spoil the entire event…. Born with a silver spoon, these idiots will definitely go thru hardship one day and then that will be the day they will realize what is life really like…. That stupid ass of the century still has the cheek to tell my hubby that we called him becos of their hangbao money…. MONEY!!! Who needs your cheap money!!! With that pathetic 50 bucks, i ran my entire wedding is it!!!? Or did we depend on your fucking money to pay for our stuffs???? You will talk big time now coz u think u r rich! But u didn’t come to realize that those $$$$ are not yours but of another mens’! We came out our own hard earned money to pay for every single thing and not depend on others. We had to pay for extra stuffs due to some irresponsible ppl and yet these idiots have the cheek to talk so big….. You know what, OWE MONEY, PAY MONEY!!!! That shud be thrown into some ppl’s face first…. Know your faults and be prepared to face it if you are in the mistake…. Nobody’s perfect, even me too, but pls be humble enough to admit to your mistakes too. Dun throw words easily jus like that becos u have nothing else to defend for yourself…. Who started to use unwanted words first…? Who promised to share the burden into half? Who backed off last minute! WHO!!! Me is it!!! Neh. It hurts until now to remember ppl saying that frens of mine whom i talked so highly actually talked low about me on my wedding day. Why cant i enjoy my own wedding day as to how i want it to be. I rule my life. I went thru shit that many others dun know shit about. Finally, when its my time to settle down with the right guy, of course i have every rights as to how i want to enjoy that big day.  So what if i drank a bit too much on that day. Did i misbehave or went to sleep with other men? NO!!! I jus enjoyed myself. Thats how plain and simple i was that day. I didnt jump on the table and did some monkey dance.

Fucked up brother i had…. Yes he died long time back. I didnt call him for my wedding coz when initially i called him to help me in inviting the guests for the reception, he claimed that he was one the guests to so how can he help me!!!! FUCK YOU BASTARD>>> I believe u will receive these messages thru some idiots… i dun care… i wanna blow up my mind for once…. so hear well ass holes!!!! U are not fit to be a men after all…. Actually u shud be born as the sister whereas i shud be born as the brother…. How old are you now???? Where is your courage to talk to father and ask him to change!!!! Why aren’t you taking the chance to use your age now to have some influence…. Aren’t u part of the family? Why are you being a fucking sissy…. Cheebye… And yet, you bring some outsiders to talk is it…. Who the fuck was that fucker to talk about our family…. Was he from our mother’s stomach….! NOOOOO. Fucking sissy…. not men enuf to change the situation of our family and u wanna talk big…. You will one day face the pain too. I did, for your info, went up to my dad 2 yrs back and asked him to give his drinking!!!! I did… And until now i still do care for him unlike you…. U, i guess, was not born into this family… Cos u dun care… All you care is for other’s family…. Stupid dump ass…. Wear a skirt and get a operation done for yourself.

Anyway, if i were ever to see that idiots outside, I’ll know what to do…. But remember one thing clearly, what goes around comes around… Whatever has happened, has happened for a very good reason which I’m still trying to figure out what. But God has a reason for everything and i trust in that alot….

Deepavali Rituals

Wednesday, October 11th, 2006

Diwali is the one Hindu festival that unites the whole of India. It is traditionally known as the "festival of lights", for the common practice is to light small oil lamps (called diyas) and place them around the home, in courtyards, gardens, verandahs, on the walls built around the home and also on the roof tops. In cities, especially, candles are substituted for diyas; and among the riches, candles are made to substitute for fashionable and classy neon lights. The celebration of the festival is customarily accompanied by the exchange of sweets and the explosion of fireworks. Diwali is an occasion for cheerfulness and togetherness. This is an occasion for young and the old, men and women, rich and poor - for everyone to celebrate. Irrespective of their religious and economic background, the festival is celebrated throughout the country to ward off the darkness and welcome light into life as light is always associated with hope for the future Diwali is celebrated 20 days after Dussera, on Amavasya - the 15th day of the dark fortnight of the Hindu month of Ashwin (Aasho) (Oct/ Nov) every year.

Diwali celebrates Rama’s homecoming, that is his return to Ayodhya after the defeat of Ravana and his coronation as king The legend related to the festival is that King Dashratha had three wives namely Kaushalaya, Keykayee and Sumitra and four sons Rama, Bharat, Laxmana and Shatrughan. Rama was the son of Queen Kaushalaya and Bharat was the son of Queen Keykayee. Keykayee wanted Bharat to be the next King of Ayodhya, while King Dasharatha wanted Rama, his eldest son to be the King. But Keykayee made full use of the two wishes King Dasharatha had promised. Keykayee asked for sending Rama to exile for the period of fourteen years and to crown Bharat as the king, though Bharat refused to accept the kingship. During that time Lord Rama fought and won fierce battle in the southern part of the Indian sub-continent, killing the king of Demons, Ravana who had forcibly taken away his wife Sita. Diwali marks his victorious return to his kingdom along with Hanuman, the Vanar who helped him in achieving success. The legend states it took 20 days for Rama to return to his kingdom after defeating Ravana. As with other Indian festivals, Diwali signifies many different things to people across the country. In north India, Diwali celebrates Rama’s homecoming from fourteen years of exile that is his return to Ayodhya after defeating Ravana and his coronation as king; in Gujarat, the festival is celebrated to honor goddess Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth; and in Bengal, it is related with the goddess Kali. But everywhere, it is celebrated with the same sprit and signifies the renewal of life.

Diwali is one of the most celebrated festivities in the Indian culture. Uniting all members of the community, young and old, rich or poor, the lighting of the lamps represents a way of paying obeisance to God for attainment of health, wealth, knowledge, peace and valoured fame People give expressions to their happiness by lighting earthen diyas and decorating the houses to welcome Lakshmi- the Goddess of wealth and prosperity, bursting fire crackers and inviting the near and dear ones to their households for partaking in the luxurious feast. The lighting of lamps is a way of paying obeisance to God for attainment of health, wealth, knowledge, peace and fame and it also signifies goodness. It is also marked as the beginning of the Hindu New Year and as a brand new beginning for all. Diwali is celebrated for five days, each day having it’s own significance, rituals and myths
DIWALI is a five-day festival, which includes Dhanteras, Narak Chaturdashi, Deepawali, Govardhan and Bhaiya Dooj.

The First day is called Dhanteras or Dhantryaodashi, which falls on the thirteenth day of the month of Ashwin. The word "Dhan" means wealth. This day has great importance for rich community. It is believed that sixteen year old son of King Hima according to his horoscope was doomed to die on the fourth day of his marriage by a snake-bite .So, on that particular fourth day of his marriage his worried wife lighted innumerable lamps all over the place and laid all the ornaments and lots of gold and silver coins in a big heap at the entrance of her husband’s boudoir. And she went on telling stories and singing songs through the night. When Yam-the god of death arrived there in the guise of a Serpent the dazzle of those brilliant lights blinded his eyes and he could not enter the Prince’s chamber. So he climbed on the heap of the ornaments and coins and sat their whole night listening to the melodious songs. In the morning he quietly went away. Thus the wife saved her husband and since then this day of Dhanteras came to be known as the day of "Yamadeepdaan" and lamps are kept burning throughout the night in reverential adoration to Yam, the god of Death.
On the first evening of Diwali, many Hindus light a single lamp, a diya, and place in front of the house. The first day is of great importance to the rich community of India Houses and Business premises are renovated and decorated. Entrances are made colorful with lovely traditional motifs of Rangoli designs to welcome Lakshmi, the Goddess of wealth and prosperity. To indicate her long-awaited arrival, small footprints are drawn with rice flour and vermilion powder all over the houses. Lamps are kept burning all through the nights. Believing this day to be auspicious women purchase some gold or silver or at least one or two new utensils.

The Second day is called Narka-Chaturdashi or Chhoti Diwali that falls on the fourteenth day of the month of Ashwin. The legend related to this day is about the King Bali of the nether world that mighty power had become a threat to the gods. In order to curb his powers Lord Vishnu in the guise of a small boy visited him and begged him to give him only that much land which he could cover with his three steps. Known for his philanthropy King Bali proudly granted him his wish. So with his first step Lord Vishnu covered the entire heaven and with the second steps the earth and asked Bali where to keep his third step. Bali offered his head and putting his foot on his head Vishnu pushed him down to the underworld. But for his generosity Lord Vishnu allowed him to return to earth once a year to light millions of lamps to dispel the darkness and ignorance and spread the radiance of love and wisdom.
This is a day when Hindus arise earlier than usual. The men, especially, will rub their bodies with perfumed oils before bathing. Afterwards, clean clothes are worn; some people wear new ones. In the morning and in the evening, mixes of bright and loud fireworks are set off in an atmosphere of joyful fun and noise. Houses are lit with oil lamps in evening. This creates an enchanting magical atmosphere.

The Third day of the festival of Diwali is the most important day of Lakshmi-Puja, which is entirely devoted to the propitiation of Goddess Lakshmi. This day is also known by the name of "Chopada-Puja". The day of Lakshmi-Puja falls on the dark night of Amavasya. Lakshmi represents good fortune, wealth and beauty. Hindus invite the goddess to enter their homes and bless them with good health, happiness and good fortune. Diyas are lit to welcome the goddess into the homes and lives of the worshippers. Even poor people who cannot afford the oil to light too many diyas will make sure that at least a single diya is lit so that Lakshmi may bless them. Pictures of Lakshmi show her either standing or sitting on a Lotus flower. Another way of welcoming the goddess Lakshmi into people’s homes is by drawing Rangoli patterns on the floor of the entrance of each house. A Rangoli is a sign of welcome. Some Hindus draw one daily as a way of welcoming guests. On the day of Diwali, the whole house is lighted with oil lamps. In addition to the lighting the façade and the sides of the house, one lamp is always placed in areas which are dark. For Hindus who are in business and trade, the settling of accounts marks this day. This is another reason why the goddess Lakshmi is so important during this festival. She is worshipped in the hope that in the new ‘Financial year’ of trading, she will bring prosperity.

The Fourth day is called Padwa or VarshaPratipada that marks the coronation of King Vikramaditya and Vikaram-Samvat was started from this Padwa day. Govardhan-Puja is also performed in the North on this day. As per Vishnu-Puran, the people of Gokul used to celebrate a festival in honour of Lord Indra and worshipped him after the end of every monsoon season. But one particular year the young Krishna stopped them from offering prayers to Lord Indra who in terrific anger sent a deluge to submerge Gokul. But Krishna saved his Gokul by lifting up the Govardhan Mountain and holding it over the people as an umbrella. This day is also observed as Annakoot meaning mountain of food. In temples especially in Mathura and Nathadwara, the deities are given milkbath, dressed in shining attires with ornaments of dazzling diamonds, pearls, rubies and other precious stones. After the prayers and traditional worship innumerable varieties of delicious sweets are offered to the deities as "Bhog" and then the devotees approach and take Prasad. Goddess Lakshmi is worshipped in every Hindu household. In many Hindu homes it is a custom for the wife to put the red tilak on the forehead of her husband, garland him and do his "Aarathi" with a prayer for his long life. In appreciation of all the tender care that the wife showers on him, the husband gives her a costly gift. This Gudi Padwa is symbolic of love and devotion between the wife and husband. On this day newly married daughters with their husbands are invited for special meals and given presents. Diwali celebration is a very happy occasion for all.

The Fifth and final day of Diwali Festival is known by the name of "Bhaiya-Dooj" This day is observed as a symbol of love between sisters and brothers. It is believed that on this day Yamraj -the god of death visited his sister Yami and she put the auspicious till on his forehead, they ate talked and enjoyed together and exchanged special gifts as a token of their love for each other and Yamraj announced that anyone who receives tilak from his sister on this day will never be thrown. Since then it became imperative for the brother to go to his sister’s house to celebrate Bhaiya Dooj.

Some Beliefs about Diwali

Why do people clean and decorate their homes for Diwali?

Diwali is considered to be the festival of the Goddess wealth and prosperity Laxmi - Goddess Laxmi visits all homes to bless the people and so to welcome the goddess homes are cleaned & decorated.

Why do people Light up their homes with clay oil lamps?

People light up their homes to welcome Goddess Laxmi. Clay lamps also indicates the victory of Light over Darkness, Good over Evil, as well as the victory of Truth over Falsehood and that man can succeed only through his virtues.
Why do people play cards on Diwali?

It is believed that goddess Parvati played dice with her husband, Lord Shiv on this day and she decreed that whosoever gambled on Diwali night would prosper throughout the ensuring year.This tradition of playing cards- flash and rummy with stakes on this particular day continues even to day.

Was reading Priya’s blog….

Wednesday, October 11th, 2006

Priya was talking about death in her entry today…  Everyday, i always open up the Obituaries section jus to see if anyone has passed away… Well, its jus me… I always like to see that part of the paper… Hmm, i have lost loved ones too. Some still stay in heart till today but some dont. Acchaa maama and Raja boy are souls that i will never fail to talk to and do prayers without fail… My secondary school classmate, Shan, is another soul that i wont forget to whisper prayers too. He departed from us in an early age too. Well, of all the deaths one is yet to happen and i dun know how am i going to handle it….

My dad… I know you guys must be thinking why am i even thinking about it when my dad is still around. I have been seperated from my dad when i was 7…. And i am my dad’s favourite kid… I am most attached to my dad among everyone at home…. When i was seperated from him and placed in the children’s home, i cried almost everyday, screaming my head off, not wanting to eat, talk to anyone and trying to runaway from the Home Everynight i cry myself to bed. I love my dad almost to God. He may be an alcoholic and makes a fool out of himself…. But he never once failed to shower me with love when i was with him…. I dun know why until today, God did not answer my prayers…. Why did she have to take me away from my dad. Maybe, if i had grown up with my dad, i wouldnt where i am now… Maybe, i would have been much better. I always yearned for my dad whenever i see kids holding thier dad’s hands… I tried calling my dad several times but the phone was left unhooked so that i cant talk to him…. I tried going up to the house to see him…. but my dad was brainwashed. Ppl have told him that i was the one who didnt want him and ranaway from the house. But yet, after all these, till this very moment i still want my dad back to me. I know that he wont be living for very long. Coz his health is in a very bad condition… He may not live long enough. He has sickness but until today i doubt if he ever seen a doctor… I cant do anything as my hands are tied… Whenever i think about him, i cry… And the pain i feel inside my heart is compared to nothing at all. Can you imagine…. he is living jus a few kilometres away from you and he is ur blood but yet u r restrained from seeing ur own dad….? What more pain can i ask for….! This is one the reasons why sometimes i fight with God… This is why i hate to go functions and see families being together at times… I know… its wrong to feel this way… but i cant help it… I want my dad back but i cant…. I love you Appa…. Been so long since i ever uttered the word Appa….

Cute Garfield

Sunday, October 8th, 2006

I saw this cat infront of my house today morning… My god, he was so furry and cute.09102006  He was trying to get into the house… My Godma got scared actually.. She was doing her exercise in the morning when she saw the cat at the staircase… Tippi was trying to play with not knowing that it was a cat… Ha ha, early morning this cute cat came and brighten up my day… Choo cute la09102006001_1